What did we do last night that was yellow?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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