i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
