how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize