He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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