Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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