Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
