what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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