and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize