Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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