Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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