my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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