Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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