Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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