Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize