No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
