Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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