he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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