totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
