You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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