a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize