If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
