It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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