She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
