She said her name was "party"
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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