"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
