people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
