He is an equal opportunity slut.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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