Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
