I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
