This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
