I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
