I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
