Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I looked at my own cervix.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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