I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
tell me about the eggs
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
