so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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