I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This house was built for laser tag.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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