Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
