I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
