is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
