Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
