And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
