I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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