Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
