Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
