I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
