first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
PANTIES FOUND
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