I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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