i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We got so high we made milksteak
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
