You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
