he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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