i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize