If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
