from now on my penis is your penis
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
