the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
