Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
