i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
