guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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