Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
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