just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
