Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
