Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
