His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sorry about my life...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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