Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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