Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
