Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
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You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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