you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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