so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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